I dunno Lloyd...

 PARIS, FRANCE

            The 10 hour overnight bus ride from Edinburgh to London was kind of brutal- slightly hot, pretty uncomfortable, and completely sold out.  We arrived early though so I was able to stretch for 30 minutes before boarding my next bus- only 8 hours more Paris!  I hadn’t researched the English chunnel tickets and I was paying the price aboard smelly buses.  I’ve gotten used to it all at this point though so it really wasn’t that bad.  I was half asleep when we made it to the French border so I gave them my passport while still wearing my green froggy eye mask.  Do you think they were offended by the French ‘frog’ innuendo or could it have gone unnoticed?

Back in March I had received a couch surfing request from a girl named Alexia.  We had coffee in NYC in July and she offered to host me in Paris!  I stayed with Alexia for my first few days in Paris and it was great to come and go from the Universitaire area as I pleased.  The subway systems in Paris were enormous yet so easy to follow.  I don’t know how I would have done with any of this traveling had I not lived in NYC for so long.  Nothing seems too daunting after surviving Rockefeller Center at Christmas time. 

             With the help of Alexia, I set out to experience all the clichés of Paris.  I saw all the must-sees so maybe I’ll start with that.  The Arc de Triomphe was as massive as it was stunning.  I really enjoyed this Parisian landmark during the day- its white marble gave a clean, sharp, sophisticated look that simultaneously encompassed an aura of both new and old.  The Champs Elysees shopping street was my least favorite site- way too many fast-food joints and chain stores.  The street felt so divided since there were 5 lanes of traffic separating the shopping district- there was nothing leisurely about my stroll down this street.  The Place de Concorde was very cool- a gold-tipped obelisk from the temple of Luxor that Napoleon may or may not have stolen from the Egyptians.  It served as a nice Segway into the park and museum district.

Arc de Triomphe

Concorde

I grabbed a baguette from the bakery and some brie from the cheesery and headed toward the Jardin des Tuilleries for a late afternoon snack on an uncomfortable patio folding chair.  A real Parisian man sat down and I enjoyed an hour of conversation.  I listened to him quote his favorite philosophers in an attempt to poetically describe his own views on life and love.  I’m not sure if he really felt this way or if he was shamelessly flirting with me.  Either way, he wore out his welcome and I bid him adieu in search of something more style- ice hockey.

                I met my second host, Yanis, when he visited NYC with 4 of his friends in March.  They all played ice hockey and he promised to host me if I ever came to Paris.  Not only did he allow me to stay with his mother, brother and him in the outskirts of Paris but he also arranged for me to play hockey with his team!  This was incredible considering how much equipment is needed to play.  It’s not like basketball where you throw on some sneakers and run around.  He found everything!  Sure, it was all too big for me and the skates weren’t sharp enough to butter bread but it was so cool!  I tuned out while the captain explained the drills in French and then just jumped in once I knew what they were doing.  My blades chattered at each turn and tapeless stick made it difficult to catch a pass but I don’t think the guys minded.  Yanis went above and beyond to show me a great time- I don’t think there was one other backpacker in Paris playing ice hockey that night! 

The next morning, I was transformed back into a backpacker and continued getting lost… I mean,I continued to effortlessly tour around Paris.  I put my sore muscles to work on the staircase from the metro leading up to the glorious district of Montmarte.  The workout was just as strenuous as the guidebook lead on!  The Sacre Couer (Sacred Heart Church) was lovely as was the city overlook.  I didn’t feel the artistic presence as strongly as others indicated but maybe I hadn’t strayed far enough off the souvenir streets.  Or maybe I lack the artistic spirit.

             As if I hadn’t received enough rewarding culture already, I visited the Louvre and Musee d’Orsay where culture is practically served intravenously.  The dates on the paintings and sculptures were just incomprehensible.  I was starting to feel pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe.  I didn’t even understand the hype behind the infamous Mona Lisa and will guarantee that 99% of the mob surrounding her didn’t either.  I thought there were far more impressive pieces housed in the same room.  In reality, I only saw a fraction of the Louvre and didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as Musee d’Orsay!  Monet, Renoir, Van Gogh, and Picasso were much more rewarding to my non-artistic soul.  I took some pictures of my favorite paintings so that I would never forget them.  In both museums, there were so many impressive forms of expression that I will never live up to.  I blame it on television and blogs.  J

After three days in Paris, I was ready for the main event.  The Eiffel tour was indeed beautiful and I took oodles of pictures as if I were arranging my senior yearbook page.  I didn’t take the elevator ride to the top- not because of the hideous queue but because I realized on this trip that I enjoy looking up to admire, rather than looking down.  My personal photographer (and host), Yanis, was SO patient when trying to capture the perfect picture for me.  I think I enjoyed the ambience more at night but strangers were so useless when it came to taking pictures.   

Special thanks for the stranger that took this horrendous picture.

I experienced some phenomenal weather during my six days in Paris which allowed me to bask in the city’s plethora of parks.  Luxembourg was my favorite by far- just so pretty with its flowers and fountains!  I can see why people fall in love in (and with) Paris since the simple pleasures of life just pump love into the air.  I know I fell head over heels for my baguette while calmly watching the sun set over the Eiffel Tower. 

            As for the title of this blog entry, I have to say I agree with Harry Dunn.  The French ARE assholes.  I respect their love for their culture and their quest in retaining as much as possible in their wonderful city.  But when I ask them for directions IN FRENCH and they repeatedly ignore me until finally saying that they don’t speak English then we have a problem.  I’ve NEVER just blatantly ignored someone on the streets of NYC.  I didn’t understand French but I did understand RUDE.  No one loves the tourist season in their respective town but it’s never an excuse to be an asshole.  Besides a couple exceptions, the French were by far the worst locals I have met on my trip.  I guess someone had to come in last place- Congrats, France.  I’m sure things are different on the countryside but I won’t have a chance to find out during this trip.  I couldn’t be happier to move on to Switzerland.

Shopping in Paris never hurt anyone...

If you'd like to see more pics from Paris:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.932122232427.2367357.1611207&type=1&l=d48550e26a

FOODS I TRIED: croissants, eclairs, baguettes, brie cheese, banana and nutella crepe, chestnut spread with whipped cream, crepe quiche, ham/cheese pizza panini thing...all the food was amazing!